I write this while listening to the Bastion soundtrack (which, by the way, is an excellent game) so it may taint my 'first' news posty thingy somewhat, so I apologise in advance.
First off, my name is Doc and I am insane. I write strange things, say strange things, and occasionally do both at the same time. But not too often, for I am man, and man have difficulty doing multiple things at once. Or at least I do.
Outside of that odd statement, I am here to delight you and entertain you with my stories of wonder and my recordings of possible hilarity. How hilarious they are is up to you, of course. You may think I am but an novice in a sea of experts, bobbing up and down in the internet screaming that I, and no one else, am the best.
That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. It is far from the truth, however, so hold your tongue next time and don't jump to conclusions.
Honestly. What is the world coming to when a man can't create random hypothetical without strangers jumping into his scenario and busting up the whole thing with logic.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy what I do. And fuck you if you don't.
Good day.